


It's okay.

by Dontyoueverfindme



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'm really sorry, Major Character Injury, Read at Your Own Risk, Slow Burn, redK!Kara, this is really violent guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-08 00:13:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15231126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dontyoueverfindme/pseuds/Dontyoueverfindme
Summary: Lena should have known that there's no stopping a god with no inhibitions.Kara gets infected with red kryptonite and goes on a rampage against the city. Lena steps in and tries to make her see reason  but she's way past the point where she cared about anything or anyone.





	It's okay.

The street looked like a battlefield. The road was lined with blown out windows, their broken glass littered the ground. The paint that used to cover the building on the corner was scattered on the ground- it fell off when someone punched the wall with inhuman strength, leaving the bare bricks exposed. A man was hiding behind a crashed car, its sirens screaming.

‘Come out, come out, wherever you are,’ a sweet voice called.

The man behind the car crouched even lower, trying to hide from someone he knew there was no hiding from.

‘Now, now,’ the voice said. ‘You do know that I have X-Ray vision, right? I can see you right through that car.’

The man looked like he was about to pass out. He leaned his forehead against the door, squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and then, slowly, shakily, he stood up and walked out from behind the vehicle.

‘There you are,’ Supergirl smiled, satisfied. A faint red line zigzagged across her face. ‘There’s no need to hide from me. I’m a hero, after all, I don’t hurt people… At least not ones that don’t deserve it.’

There was no warning. A beam of laser shot out of Supergirl’s eyes, scorching the asphalt just a few inches from the man’s shoes.

His eyes widened. He was terrified. He didn’t dare to move at all, he was just staring at the smoking  stain right next to him.

‘The problem is,’ Supergirl continued with a contemplative frown, ‘is that you do deserve it.’

Another shot of laser hit the ground, this time even closer to the man. He stumbled backwards, lost his balance and hit the ground.

Supergirl took a few steps towards him. Her lopsided smile showed just how much she enjoyed playing this game.

‘I don’t…’ the man stammered, ‘I don’t deserve it…’

‘Oh but of course you do. You’re only human, you’re flawed by nature. You all are.’

 ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ the man whispered, his whole body trembling with fear. Supergirl’s lips twisted into a condescending smile.

‘Of course you don’t,’ she snorted, the dangerous red glow re-appearing in her eyes. It turned brighter and stronger until it formed a pair of laser beams. They started inching, slowly as if to draw out the anticipation, towards him. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see what was surely coming next.

‘Stop!’ someone screamed, just as the laser reached the edge of his feet and started burning through his shoes. ‘Stop!’

The person running towards them came to a halt right in front of Supergirl, placing herself between her and the man.

‘Lena Luthor,’ Supergirl said cheerfully. ‘Isn’t that a surprise.’

 Supergirl, stop,’ Lena repeated. ‘Now.’

 Supergirl’s eyes narrowed.

‘Get out of my way,’ she sneered. The man stared at Lena’s back in disbelief.

‘No.’ Lena shook her head firmly. ‘I know you don’t wanna do this. You don’t wanna hurt him. You’ve never wanted to hurt anyone.’

‘You don’t know me,’ Supergirl spat. A red streak moved across her face, so fast Lena almost didn’t notice it.

‘I know you couldn’t live with yourself if you hurt innocent people. So please, ’Lena pleaded. ‘Stop. Let him go.’

‘Oh, Lena,’ Supergirl’s face turned pitiful. ‘No one’s innocent.’ Her face hardened again. ‘Now get out of my way or I’ll shoot you too.’

Lena swallowed hard but stood her ground.

’No.’

‘Don't say I didn't warn you.’

The laser hit her in the middle of her chest. She fell onto her back, the air knocked out of her by the force of the impact. For a moment she had no idea what had just happened. She tried to take a deep breath to calm herself but the motion sent a jolt of searing pain though her chest. She shut her eyes against the pain.

The man recognized that this was probably his only chance to run. By the time Lena even realized she was lying on the ground he had already scrambled to his feet and had taken off for the nearest corner. Supergirl only spared him a glance before she decided to let him go and walk up to Lena instead. She crouched down next to her, watching Lena’s pathetic attempts to draw shallow, strained breaths, with an amused half-smile.

‘Do not think I missed. You’d be dead if I’d only aimed a bit to the right. You better be thankful you’re still breathing.’

‘Supergirl…’ Lena stammered. She was still in shock- whether from the pain or from the fact that Supergirl- _Kara-_ really does not care about injuring, or maybe even killing her, she didn’t know.

‘Don’t you dare go against me ever again,’ Supergirl snarled, standing up and towering over Lena. ‘Now get out of here before I not only hit you but carve my symbol into your chest with laser too. At least that way you’d never forget your place again.’

She gave Lena a last disdainful look then turned around and started walking in the opposite direction. Lena finally struggled to her feet. Her chest felt like it was still being burned by the laser beam. She had to bite down on her lip to keep herself from crying out.

‘I will… always go against you if you need it,’ she called after Supergirl.

Supergirl stopped in the middle of the road and turned around slowly.

‘Need it?’ she repeated incredulously. ’I don’t need anything from you. You’re nothing to me.’

Lena flinched as if she’d been slapped. Her hand unconsciously reached to touch her chest, feeling the proof of Supergirl’s words.

Supergirl didn’t fail to notice the pained wince that crossed Lena’s face as her fingers grazed the wound.

’You’re so weak,’ she chuckled. Lena knew she wouldn’t forget the chuckle as long as she lived.

’I am,’ Lena admitted. ’But you aren’t. You’re one of the strongest people I know. That’s why I know you can fight whatever’s controlling you right now. This city needs you. The people need you.’ She looked down at the ground. ’I need you,’ she added, her voice barely a whisper.

Supergirl walked back up to her. She stopped only a few inches from Lena and stared into her eyes.

’I am not a person,’ she said, punctuating every word. ’I am a god. And I don’t care if anyone needs me. And I especially don’t care if you need me. Of course you do. After all, what are you without me? Just a woman despised by everyone around her. Just a Luthor who thinks being seen with Supergirl will make people believe she’s anything more than her name. But guess what, you haven’t fooled anyone. You know what the people think? That you’re not like your family? That you might even be a decent human? Oh no. They think you’ve befriended me to get close to me and kill me.’ She looked almost entertained at the idea. ’As if you could ever come close to laying a hand on me.’

’I don’t care what they think. I would never hurt you. I only ever wanted to be your friend.’

’A friend? A Luthor and a Super? A xenophobic, pretentious, despicable liar and a superhero?’

Lena’s jaw clenched involuntarily. She tried to tell herself that none of this was Supergirl’s fault. That the Supergirl she knew would never hurt her.

The pain spreading through her chest every time she breathed in seemed to contradict that.

’I tried… I tried to be better,’ Lena said simply. ‘I want to be better.’

’That’s adorable. I thought you were supposed to be a genius? But apparently you can’t even see what’s right in front of your eyes.’

’I do see what’s right in front of my eyes,’ Lena said quietly. ’I do… Kara.’

’Ooh. Well isn’t that nice. The cat’s out of the bag, huh,’ Supergirl said, a satisfied grin spreading across her face. ‘You must be wondering why I didn’t tell you myself.’

Lena shrugged. The motion made the constricting feeling in her chest worse for a moment. She sucked in a deep breath.

‘At first I thought it was simply because I’m a Luthor. I thought the only reason we kept meeting was because you wanted to keep an eye on me. But then I realized you were too good and kind to think like that. And that I didn’t need to know your reasons. It was your secret to keep.’

‘Oh, it was never like that,’ Supergirl said. ‘Or maybe in the very beginning… But then I started getting to know you. And I realized that I didn’t need to keep an eye on you. You never posed a threat to anyone, let alone me. You’re nothing like your brother.’ She took a step towards Lena. ‘Because, you see… As much as I loathe your brother, at least he had the guts to be true to himself. He fought for something he believed in. He was always honest and loud about his intentions, no matter how idiotic they were. But you… You’re not even worth noticing.’

‘I know you don’t mean that,’ Lena said, fighting tears.

A red line flashed bright across Supergirl’s face.

‘You sure about that?’

The force of Supergirl’s fist connecting with Lena’s cheek threw Lena to the ground. She landed on her stomach, her head connecting with the ground.

Lena looked up from the ground, slowly. For a moment, she couldn’t focus on anything; the street around her was spinning viciously, the whole world seemed to have lost its contours; colors and shapes blended together. Her hand instinctively reached up and touched her face gingerly. The skin over her cheek broke and her jaw throbbed with pain. She tried to wipe at the blood flooding from a cut on her forehead but it was useless, it trickled down the side of her face.

She tried to focus on Supergirl’s face. She was hoping against hope to see any sign of the real Kara, _her_ Kara, in those familiar eyes that now held such a terrifyingly unfamiliar look.

’It’s okay, Kara,’ she finally said, fighting the nausea and ignoring the shaking of her voice.

It wasn’t. It wasn’t okay at all. But Lena just couldn’t be sure a piece of Kara wasn’t holding on on the inside, and if there was, Lena would have done anything to ease her guilt.

’Is it now,’ Kara said, her tone flat.

Lena didn’t expect the next blow. There was a distinctive crack as Supergirl’s foot connected with her still half-bent elbow.

Lena’d never felt pain like this. It was as if someone had ripped her arm off. She couldn’t hold back the scream escaping her lips as her arm buckled under her and she fell back onto the ground.

She rolled onto her side to ease the pressure off her injured arm. She immediately wished she hadn’t.

Her arm was bent at an unnatural angle. Blood was steadily oozing from a wound just above her elbow. She thought she was going to throw up when she saw the jagged end of a bone sticking out of the wound.

She realized that trying to help Kara feel just a bit less guilty once she came back around would mean antagonizing her.

She didn’t dare to think about what this version of Kara would do if she got any more angry and violent. It wasn’t that she was afraid of dying. She’s made peace with that a long time ago. She knew what she was signing up for when she stepped in to save that man. She just hoped it wouldn’t be for nothing. And that maybe it wouldn’t be so long and painful.

But right now, Kara’s sickening snarl suggested that it really was for nothing and that she’d take her time playing around with Lena.

Would it be worth it? Would that one in a million chance that whatever she says gets through to Kara be worth it?

It really wasn’t a question she had to think about. And it wasn’t simply because she loved Kara. Weather as a friend or more, she couldn’t tell. She never knew what a healthy relationship looked like so she tended to confuse care with obsession. So yes, she would have died for Kara in a heartbeat. She didn’t want to think about whether that was because she loved Kara so much or because she stopped being invested in her own life a long time ago.

But she had another reason to stand her ground, to not give up and cave in. This, never giving up the city’s hero, not even when she was showing her worst side- this was _good_. And all Lena ever wanted to be was good.

So, no matter how much her body objected, she stood up. She staggered before regaining her balance, then looked Supergirl straight in the eye.

‘Yes, it is okay,’ she said, nauseous and dizzy, both from the pain and from having hit her head against the ground. ‘Because I know you’d never hurt me. This isn’t you. So, it is okay. And I want you to remember that. I _need_ you to remember that,’ she pleaded desperately.

‘Your condescension is revolting,’ Supergirl spat. ‘You Luthors and your superiority complexes. It’s about time the world is cleansed of your venom.’

She pulled Lena up by her blood-stained shirt and threw her sideways, as if she weighed nothing.

As if she meant nothing. As if she _was_ nothing.

Lena’s fall was cut short by a larger glass shard sticking out of the remnants of a wooden window frame.

It was all surreal. Her brain knew something was wrong but the pain barely registered. She looked down, trying to figure out what had happened, why she hadn’t just fallen straight through the space where the window glass used to be.

That was when she saw the broken piece of glass protruding from the frame, underneath her torso. She couldn’t see the top of the shard, it disappeared somewhere under her.

Somewhere inside her, she realized.

She’d known things’d been looking grim for her but she’d still hoped that a couple broken bones and a milder head trauma were all things she could survive and recover from.

She refused to acknowledge that a compound fracture isn’t just a break or that the lingering disorientation and dizziness indicated more than just a mild head trauma. Or maybe it was just a subconscious defense mechanism, her mind trying to make her believe it wasn’t all over yet, that she shouldn’t give up on herself.

But even she couldn’t shrug off being impaled on a jagged piece of glass as something she’d easily recover from.

The sight of blood flowing freely all the way down her abdomen and dripping onto the window frame and to the ground made her sick.

There was just too much blood. Too much of _her_ blood ** _._**

But it didn’t feel like her blood. It didn’t even feel like her body.

There was a voice behind her back, taunting and cold, but she couldn’t understand what it was saying. She couldn’t understand anything anymore.

There were footsteps too, getting closer and closer to her, but she didn’t even hear them.

The roaring of the chopper was loud enough to break through her. She looked up, above her shoulder, the hope of seeing someone coming to help her winning over the pain the motion caused her.  There was a figure hanging out of the door, holding a large gun with a barrel pulsating with a strange green glow.  The figure moved to aim the gun at something behind her and she thought she recognized Alex in that all-black uniform.

Alex’s face dragged her back to reality. She suddenly realized the reason behind the gun’s green glow.

She didn’t think. She didn’t make a conscious decision. She just did what her body knew she had to do. She pushed herself up with her right arm, violently, ignoring the sickening sound that pulling herself up, off of the shard made.

The pain hit her with full force when she slid off the frame and onto the concrete. It was searing hot, setting her nerve endings on fire. It was maddening. Unbearable.

Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes. Her throat seized up, her ears were ringing, her limbs went numb and her whole world was reduced to the screaming throbbing of the wound in her torso.

If it was someone else Alex was pointing her gun at, she might have done differently. She might have stayed put, hoping that the glass would stem the blood flow and Alex would come and help her.

But it wasn’t someone else.

It was Supergirl’s safety against hers.

Kara’s life against hers.

That really wasn’t a question she’d have to think about.

So she stood up, praying that her uncontrollably shaking legs would hold her. She turned around and faced Supergirl. Adrenaline was racing through her body, flooding her system, partially numbing her senses, keeping her on her feet.

Kara was standing a few feet back, looking at Lena with an amused half-smile, paying no attention to the chopper above them.

Lena started stumbling towards Supergirl. Supergirl raised an eyebrow, not sure why Lena was trying to get to her.

The sidewalk seemed to get wider and wider with every step Lena took. She believed she was running. In reality, she was barely staggering.

There was frantic yelling above their heads and the gun went off with a deafening blast.

She lurched forward in an attempt to get to Kara faster and somehow, anyhow, protect her from the kryptonite.

She tackled Supergirl onto her back by gracelessly falling on top of her, shielding her as best as she could, as pieces of metal, glass and wood rained down on them.

Supergirl was out before she hit the floor. Green lines seemed to chase after red ones on her face. She looked like there was a war raging under her skin. She winced whenever the lines collided.

Lena stared at the lines running across Supergirl’s face. Green seemed to be winning. The red line kept getting fewer and fewer, criss-crossing slower and slower.

The last thing she registered was a red mist seemingly soaking through Supergirl’s skin and evaporating into the air. Her features finally evened out, the war inside was over.

In her last conscious moment she almost felt relieved.

The dust caused by the blast hasn’t cleared and the chopper hasn’t even finished landing yet when Alex was already down on the street, sprinting towards two bodies lying motionless on the ground, a stark contrast to the chaos raging around them.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Huh. No idea where that came from. I'm really sorry, I swear I love Lena, that's why I made her suffer. Makes so much sense.
> 
> Also, just a quick question- in case i go on with this, how medically accurate do you guys wanna get with this? I'm a paramedic so if anyone wants this to include Alex playing doctor and Lena recovering in the DEO, i can totally write that. But i don't wanna bore anyone with that kinda stuff if they're not interested in it.


End file.
